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When I came to power, I cut off everyone’s heads. I’m not kidding. Why would I kid you about a thing like that? It’s not a laughing matter. You can ask the people whose heads I had cut off. Do they think it’s a laughing matter? No.

Why did I cut off their heads? They were not loyal to me. They were not loyal to the Party, which is the same thing. They were not loyal to the State, which is the same thing too. A line had to be drawn somewhere. And I drew that line. I drew it across their necks.

What do you mean, do I mean all? Do you think I am stupid? How could I get people to vote for me if I cut off all their necks. There would be no-one left to vote. You have not been listening to me. I do not think you understand democracy.

Why would people want to vote for me? Let me let you into a secret. There are no ‘isms’ any more. In the old days, communism and capitalism were good for us. We could be in favour of capitalism, and the communists would want to buy us off. For communism, and the capitalists would pay for anything we wanted. Nowadays, it is not so simple. A politician has to think of something that he can sell.

His soul, perhaps?

Exactly.

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